The Radical Rorschach Rebirth
We understand and respond to pain in various ways. Most nights you can find Alexis at Peters Street Station, jamming out, selling art, or painting. On Wednesday nights, though, she hosts a ‘Create your own inkblot’ booth during jam sessions. Inspired by Dr. Herman’s Rorschach inkblots, she decided to create her own as a means to convey the duality of the journey from pain to peace.
Before our shoot, I wanted to know more about her work and its transformation from before her stay in the hospital to after. If she had to put 3 colors to her work before, it would be black, grey, and white in that order. In those pieces, black represents darkness and a loss of self, grey is the in-between shift, and white is the light at the end of the tunnel. After her release, white, red, and black were the colors that resonated most with her. Now, white represents seeing truth about her abuse. The pain in red is not just about that feeling itself. It is the awakening to enduring that pain and moving forward. Finally, black represents the unknown journey to more truths. Through that journey, she draws power from her ancestors to put into her work. Something she said she had not really done prior to her stay.
When I study other artists, I like to get to know a little bit about them. One of those things I like to ask people is to pick someone they love and attach each one of the five senses to that person. Alexis chose her mom. Her mom is the smell of cocoa butter, the sound of laughter, the sensation of a back rub, the sight of her, and the taste of a Sunday afternoon. I'm still trying to figure out what a Sunday afternoon tastes like, but I'm intrigued by the uniqueness of this answer. It feels very personal and acute to Alexis as a person. I also asked her to bring 3 things that would essentially be a time capsule of her; 3 things that if someone looked at them, they could look and say ’that’s Alexis.’ Those 3 items are her journal, a pen, and a stress ball. Each item has helped her re-focus her energy towards healing. This is something she understands isn’t a one-and-done deal, rather a process that requires continuous work.
During our shoot, Alexis created an inkblot and was able to talk to me more about her process and how she interprets her work. The inkblot (below) ended up with some skeletal aspects as well as 'veins' within the paint. Along with getting to know Alexis, we did some quick activities. In one, I asked her to pretend like she’s running for an important position and she had to give a speech using only her hands, feet and facial expressions; no sounds. Through her hand motions of shaking fists and what seemed like a smoothing breath of relief, she was able to convey both her frustration with, and acceptance of, enduring strife.
The act of creating an inkblot reads so much into the subconscious. Why do we place the paint where we do? What are we envisioning? For Alexis, how she creates her inkblots reflects her journey through pain. In our pre-shoot interview, I asked her to to put a taste to her work and she said bitter. Following that, I asked her to pick a food; no relation to art, just pick a food. She chose bananas because they are a ‘quick, easy, grab-and-go’ type of food. Though creating inkblots is quick like a banana, they also hold much more beyond their outer appearance. Thank you again Alexis for inviting me into your space and entrusting me to share your story. It has truly been an honor to learn more about you and your art.
This shoot was done on a Bronica ETRS with Kodak Tri-X and Cinestill 800T film
To see the all of the photos from this session, click here
To book a shoot with me, click here